On to the second episode of Buffy, where we find out if Buffy actually ends up dying. Are you as on edge as I am?
Surprise, title character doesn't actually get eaten. Luke is wounded and this momentarily distracted by the shiny cross necklace Angel gave her last episode. Chekhov's crucifix, if you will. But unfortunately, Disposable Friend #3 (I think he also goes by Jesse) was taken by the vamps.
I love how totally on board with the whole vampire slaying thing Willow and Xander are. Their freak-out period is short-lived, and they are surprisingly useful right off the bat. But in a believable way, like with computers and stuff. Willow hacks into some local government websites to get plans of the sewer system, and Xander and Buffy skip school to go a-hunting.
So apparently the Vamp Squad is attempting some kind of voodoo blood magic that will allow the Master to walk around on the surface again. Big ole Luke is the vessel, and everyone that he drains feeds the Master vicariously. This is how we get...diseases, guys. Not sanitary.
Anyway, they decide that the best place to get some fresh young blood is at the tragically 90s teen club, the Bronze. Luckily for the rest of Sunnydale, Buffy and Co also showed up. And predictably, kick ass. And I love that in the end, Xander does end up staking Jesse. Even if it wasn't intentional. I was expecting this long drawn out affair where Xander and co agonize over whether or not they can kill him, and I just frankly was not up for something that excessive. I like this much better.
So Buffy averts the Harvest and Sunnydale can go back to being only mildly dangerous. Yay!
Other Things of Note:
- Is it bad that when Xander says rain of toads I briefly ponder if he means rain of toads falling from the sky or reign of toads where humanity suddenly has froggy overlords?
- Seriously, Angel? You're going to do that super lame thing where a girl asks you to wish her luck, and then you wait until she's gone before you say it in a pathetic little voice? How did you not barf all over yourself from shame during this scene?
- Did high-schoolers in the 90s really have to take computer programming classes? I was only nine or so when this episode aired. Maybe by the time I got to high school they just assumed that we all already know how to use computers. I love how Willow tricks Cordelia into deleting her entire assignment by convincing her that the save button is the one that says deliver. Classic. Willow, don't ever change.
- "1843, Madrid. He caught me sleeping." I love the sheepish way he delivers that line. And I know that it's a melodramatic character who's only in two episodes, but in that instant, I could totally see Adam Baldwin saying that.
- I love how the Master talks to his minions like they're naughty preschoolers. Like, he patiently prompts them to apologize...then stabs them through the eye with his pointer finger.
- "Tonight I shall walk the Earth and the stars themselves will hide!" Oh Master, you are so gloriously camp.
- Anthony Head was so skinny in 1997. Also...left-handed! Represent.
- I do love that Jesse just has to tell Cordy to shut up and all of a sudden she's cool with dancing with him. Nothing like reinforcing the stereotype that women only like men who are mean to them.
- "There's something you forgot, too. Sunrise...is in about nine hours, moron." Buffy, I love you so very much. Would it be too forward of me to propose marriage after only two episodes?
- Angel, you are the least useful person ever. If you're going to creep around stalking Buffy, you should at least, you know, help out a little.
Verdict: 7 Stakes Out of 10